#it feels like im attention seeking

[lucidityzx]

Its so hard for me to NOT compare my trauma

Some people have had to watch their mother get beat or get beat until they started bleeding or just. Horrible things.

What did I go through? Um. I was emotionally neglected and groomed online?? And I knew my parents hated each others guts?? And they fought sometimes?? And my father also used to beat me in early childhood (one time for a misunderstanding ???) But he's stopped (since I dont do shit anymore I guess. Always listening and shit.) Now that I say it it sounds kinda bad but its not THAT bad. Plus I feel so. Detached from traumatic events I dont even know if I could call it traumatic. I literally feel nothing abt it.

It's like I've been reincarnated and that was my past life

I can only remember decent memories atp and with bad shit I do remember I dont feel anything about it.

I just feel like it wasn't enough to call myself "traumatized," especially since, for the last few months, I've been. Fine? Literally okay.

For some reason its so weird seeing myself happy. Even if I'm feeling like shit I think "hey. Ur friend went through way worse than u when they were a kid. In fact, they are still in a bad situation. You were literally able to go have a good time and shit. Sooooooooooooo. What actual trauma do you have?? Go get yourself hurt and maybe you'll actually have a reason to cry." OR "Yea you have trauma but it's the most standard shit ever. People have gone through wayyy worse. And what have YOU really been through?"

I rlly do wanna get hurt. If you care about me then thank the lord I don't know how to get myself hurt again???? Because everything was out of my control.

I wonder why I'm even like this? I genuinely have no idea.

[salt-n-salt]

Listen listen listen

How do you think our beloved Shane looked/acted like as a child?? I’m so insanely curious about your thoughts on this

oh em gee .. i think abt little shane A LOT 😀 i feel like he was very rough as a kid but like. in an innocent way. maybe bc he’s semi-neglected by his parents so he’s a bit of an attention seeker. but i think he was also emotionally sensitive and grabby (he’d hold onto people’s clothes a lot .. how cute would that be ..) .. not the best hygiene (Marnie has to brush his teeth for him a lot when he comes to visit..) .. etc etc ..

design wise im thinking (1) messy hair (2) big clothes (3) ruddy face 🥹 i think his childhood aggression is a good athletic pipeline for his early 20s, and then lends way to gruffness and coldness in his 30s post mental health spiral 😋

[blossoms-phan]

guys can someone reassure me that you want to read phan smut

[king-crawler]

hey, even if you end up not doing some entries for the sake of the length of the video, could you post the full uncut version of the iceberg with all the entries?

Probably not, sorry :[ Do keep in mind I'm not cutting out any entries because of length (i love long iceberg videos), more so just keeping the ones that I personally think would make for an interesting topic / cool discussion, which will be like 99% of them anyways bc diving into fandom culture is fun ! If it helps I don't think I'll be deleting anything on the public iceberg, I think I'll probably just make a copy of it and use that one for my (hypothetical) video. I might also combine a few entries, idk yet we'll see! I hope that's not upsetting :') Again I still don't know if I'm making this thing but it seems fun in concept, I'll just have to find the time which might be a while... Regardless I do appreciate the entries that have showed up and how its filled up so fast ❤️ I genuinely can't believe how much stuff showed up that I'd never heard of before

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Oh yeah my bad there’s definitely NO insecurity on this person. /s

[st3lla-lun4]

slasher crackship community now is yall's time to shine. i want yall to drop your proudest ship creation in the tags because i need a good laugh. ill even be generous and start first.

reblogs are appreciated, i love reading yall's tags!

[ghostboyhood]

no fucking wayyy dude

[gothghostiie]

hi, sorry for the lack of posts rn,,, not to vent or anything but lifes not being very kind rn and horny posting feels very weird

ily all tho, my inbox/requests are still open for when I'm back on my shit 🫶🏻

[bluegekk0]

would you still love me if i was more annoying with self reblogs 🥺

[anti-transphobia]

What it's like being a narcissist in a group chat with other narcissists

[sylkana]

not being allowed to say "hey i think maybe i have depression/anxiety/autism/whatever else" without someone making me feel bad because i don't have an actual diagnosis, nor do i have the means to currently deal with any of that, is... something for sure. i'll just suffer in silence i guess

[iqmmir]

I love when people compliment me

[nightfallsystem]

i hate my stupid life everytime i look up did / osdd symptoms i have a LOT of them but if i get diagnosed what if my mother abuses me for it. she doesnt like when im mentally unwell. like really. really doesnt like. like threatens me when im unwell. what then. then ill like. die. THEN ITLL GET WORSE .

[databent]

sorry my posts suck today i have a headache and im stressed about my doctors appiintment tomorrow and its making me stupid. in my brain

[worldofgoo]

sorry if ive made this exact post before i love metablogging when i have nothing else to say. funny that i gave myself permission to talk and express myself on my main account yet i continue to basically only talk in my personal blog rambling hole, i think i realized a while back that mostly its just my friends that care about my posts/interact with me so posting where theyre concentrated is i guess more efficient and less embarrassing

[cdpdoodler]

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